Hi Mom. It’s Sunday morning September 5, 2021 and I’m dictating this to you while I’m jogging in our old neighborhood. I’m about to make the turn on the Santa Clara University campus that leads me to the Mission. You probably know this, but even after you moved to Carlton in 2018 I would come here and go jogging, visit Hilmar Street, spend time with Jean and Larry who continue to be good and supportive friends. I think I will for the rest of my life jog or walk this route every time I come to Santa Clara.
We held a celebration of your lives yesterday at Don Callejon School — there were probably close to 150 people there which is pretty darn good since were in round three of the worst pandemic in the last 120 years or something. The staff and DCSCO folks were super helpful, especially our pal Lisa. There’s a new principal and he seems great! The event was nearly flawless as can be and I think you would’ve been very proud. I’m hoping you were somewhere watching, smiling and singing along, because it sure felt like your presence was there.
As you probably know there were old friends and newish ones. And family. I was so glad that Don Bordenave was able to come. Aunt Rose, who is still feisty at 96. Your friend Marguerite came down from Sacramento — so many people from yours and dad’s lives. Many of our old neighbors showed up including Lolita, Tim and Anne(O’Brien) Silveira, Pam Campisi, Bobby O’Keefe, and more. Hilmar Street was a special place to grow up.
You’ll be happy to know I am staying in touch with Margaret and Peg and of course the Kellehers, Silveras and Coehlos. Every family was well represented yesterday.
I lost count very quickly of the number of people who approached me before and after the ceremony to say lovely things about you and dad and your kids. It was very moving, humbling and rewarding. You are so well loved and so highly thought of. I know at some level you knew that but if ever there was a day where you got your fair share of praise and didn’t have to just listen to everything being about dad, yesterday was it. Everything was about you as a team and as Paul Perrotti said, “Clare was in charge.” Not surprisingly, Paul did a fantastic job during his tribute of capturing you and Dad, and your many different contributions to the city of Santa Clara.
Rick told great stories and did a super job. And he trimmed his beard! I was so proud of Drew — he talked about how much he learned and has inherited from you and dad and how he will try to raise his baby girl — your great granddaughter Avery — with the same devotion to family (and sports), and to live up to your ideals. Chuck and Laura, Davis and Natalie, and Mark and Megan did great readings that reflected you and dad. Cousin Margaret made the most lovely tribute video about you and dad. Not a dry eye.
I asked Larry to read something at the end, and you’ll never believe what happened. He wore pants! And a tie! And he stayed on script. If that isn’t evidence of the immense amount of respect he has for you and Dad I don’t know what it is.
Your three great-grandbabies watched on a livestream with some combination of their parents or grandparents. I know you would agree that it was safer that way.
I got to wrap up the show with a tribute that I hope you listened to. I put my heart into every word. Never before in public speaking have I felt so many butterflies. I think I did you proud.
I want to be honest and tell you that we did make a few jokes at your expense. The ones about dad had to do with him being a tad impatient, and the ones about you about your love of storytelling and gift of gab. Don’t worry it wasn’t a “get Mom day.”
Let me tell you about the music I selected. I was trying to cover all the bases for both of you so I hired a tenor and soprano. They sang one of your favorite Andrea Bocelli songs (The Prayer) to start. The other two songs were Turn, Turn, Turn, which caused me to have flashbacks about the hippie mass in the basement at Saint Clare’s, and Nat King Cole‘s Unforgettable, which is what you and dad are in every way. I don’t know if you know but it was released the year you were married. Also, a DCS student who is now a sophomore at Wilcox played Amazing Grace on the flute. He was fantastic!
I thought yesterday was going to be some kind of punctuation mark that would remove a question mark and close a chapter. We waited so long to celebrate you I’ve been all over the map as far as grief and gratitude. Dad‘s passing brought me some strange calm and hope that you were together where you wanted to be. But I realize now that the memorial is over that this celebration was just a comma, or maybe an ellipsis because your next generation and the next are and will be alive and thriving and we are now going to make sure that your legacy lives on. We are writing the next chapters.
As I wrap this up I’m jogging down Alviso St. from the mission gardens toward Hilmar. Birds are singing, the sky is pretty blue and the sun is out. People are walking. This will probably be my last jog here for a while. But not my last. Regardless, I hope you know that it doesn’t matter where I am. Jogging in Santa Clara, hanging out with your great-grandbabies, or just hanging out at home. You’re with me every day all the time.
I hope you and dad enjoyed the show yesterday.
Love,
Donna
PS Hi Mom. Remember how you were worried that we would never come to see you at the cemetery? Well, I’m proving you wrong. You’re my last stop on my way out of Santa Clara. I brought you fresh flowers, including orchids. There’s a light breeze. You and dad are together here. As it should be. Bye for now.
